Richard Armitage had seen worse rifts in the administration than that between the current State Department and the Pentagon. Back when he served in the Reagan administration, for instance, there was some horrible tension between the Iran/Contra CIA guys trying to keep the entire financing of the Contras via arms sales to Iran quiet and people like George Shultz who were trying to pretend the entire Reagan administration was above board.

Armitage said as much to the New York Times reporter, but he left out the Iran/Contra bit. Inasmuch as the administration liked to point out Iraqi abuses in the 1980's, it just didn't seem necessary to bring up 1980's abuses by the United States government.

However, this reporter was particularly testy. He was a young buck, obviously not quite schooled in finesse. For instance, he kept taking Armitage to task for having had said that there's a lull in the war on terror.

"But Al Quaeda killed eight Vinnell guys two weeks ago, " the reporter kept saying.

"Well forgive me for being a Pollyanna," said Armitage. "Eight dead mercenaries does not a war make."

"You're not sort of keeping Al Quaeda out of the picture because the fact that they are still active might not make Bush's War on Terror look so good as the re-election campaign heats up...hmmm?" queried the reporter.

"Hell, no, the war on terror's doing great. Look, we're finding a whole nuclear program being financed by the Iranians, "Armitage shot back.

"Is CIA intelligence as good about Iran as it was about the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction?"

"Look, we found some Winnebagos..."

"Or about 9/11, for that matter."

Richard Armitage sighed. Fortunately, at that very moment, Paul Wolfowitz walked into the room. They had decided before the interview to put some positive spin on the purported rift between the Pentagon and State Department.

A little water squirted out of the flower on Wolfowitz's lapel. Armitage stuck out his hand and the joy buzzer made the hair stick straight out of Wolfowitz's ears. At that point, they went into an elaborate three stooges routine, after which Armitage turned to the reporter.

"What was that last question?"

The reporter looked dumbfounded.

"Well all right, then," said Armitage. "I guess the interview's over."

June 2, 2003