Indecent Proposal

"We need a thirteenth member of the coven. What do you say? Want to join?"

"Karl," said Rand Beers, "I hate to say this, but I quit the administration months ago."

The man who has come to be known as "His Majesty's right side of the Brain" sat back in his chair and shook his head. "Rand, Rand, Rand," he murmured. "What happened? You were such a good soldier. You lied under oath about Colombian narco-terrorists being trained in Afghanistan. You kept the faith when that missionary plane in Peru was shot down after the Guys at ADC fucked up. What's the big deal now?"

"Fuckin' A, Karl," spat Rand as he leaned over the desk, bringing his face directly in front of the fat man. "I work narco terrorism for how long and then I get switched over to this national security morass. I get piles of paperwork, no way to figure out what's good information from what's bad information. You give me this war in Iraq with missing weapons of mass destruction. Missing, Karl. We didn't know where they were in the first place, and now the entire country's looted and the WMD are missing!"

"I see," nodded Karl. "You don't want to take the fall for the mining of Boston Harbor."

"Say what?"

"Did I say something? I don't remember saying anything but that we really need a thirteenth member of the coven."

"No," said Beers.

"So you're joining Kerry's campaign."

"Yes," replied Beers. "I'm advising him on Security Issues."

"Betcha there's no human sacrifice in the Kerry Campaign. Not quite as much fun, guaranteed."

"Did you just say human sacrifice?" asked Beers.

"No, I don't think so. Have a good day, Rand. And don't worry, we won't kill you unless we have to."

"What?" asked Beers as Karl stood up to shake his hand. He didn't answer, as by now his thoughts had drifted afar and the solution of the problem of the thirteenth had suddenly occurred to him.

Karl pressed the button on his phone for his secretary. "Get me Koch, president of the Wine Institute." He then looked up at Rand Beers, who had started walking toward the door. "Koch is married to Bush's sister. Used to work for Gephardt. Good fellow. Always ready for a party. Don't be a stranger."

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